


the hills.

by ndrzzlcc



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Harry Styles - Fandom, harry styles a.u.
Genre: Broken Up, F/M, First Love, Photography, i don't really know lol, it's kinda sad at the end really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:41:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28081098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ndrzzlcc/pseuds/ndrzzlcc
Summary: because I know you were never really mine.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Original Female Character(s), Harry Styles/Reader
Kudos: 1





	the hills.

**Author's Note:**

> (Contais a few swear words)  
> (Btw sorry if it has any mistakes. English is not my first language)

"Hey. Still awake?"

His message popped on my phone screen. It was 5am and I couldn't sleep, no matter what. Maybe I was nervous. College, my family constantly demanding 100% of me, responsibilities and, yeah, that's a lot on a young adult's back.

"Yeah. Idk, just can't sleep at all."

"Do you wanna go to the hills see the sunset?"

I looked at my window. It was still a bit dark, but I suppose the sun will be up in about 30 minutes, maybe. It was enough time, actually.

"Lol do you even ask? See you in 15 minutes. Meet me at the ice cream shop?"

"See you there."

_Okay, a little update about this guy and I. His name is Harry, and we've been friends for a couple of years now. Two years ago he came up to me and asked about my Arctic Monkeys t-shirt, because he liked the band as well. I know it's cliché, but maybe that was the moment we both clicked. We started texting and talking all day, every day. From morning to noon. We were basically best friends at the moment, having breakfast together, sitting next to each other in class and even listening to the same songs (yeah, we shared our earphones sometimes)._

The day was kinda cold. I put on my pair of black ripped jeans and a black tank top. We were gonna escalate a hill, after all. Silently, I took my keys and went downstairs. Opened the door and a cold wind ran right through my face. Great. Put my bike outside, turned my headphones on and played my favorite song at the moment.

_Why you gotta hug me_

_Like that every time you see me?_

_Why you always making me laugh_

_Swear you're catching feelings_

_I loved you from the start_

_So it breaks my heart_

_When you say I'm just a friend to you_

_'Cause friends don't do the things we do_

_Everybody knows you love me too_

_Tryna be careful with the words I use_

_I say it 'cause I'm dying to_

_I'm so much more than just a friend to you_

_Mmm, mmm, mmm_

_When there's other people around_

_You never wanna kiss me_

_You tell me it's too late to hang out_

_Then you say you miss me..._

Yeah, maybe we should change it. Just for now, at least.

He was already at the ice cream shop when I arrived. And ah, how I missed that sweet smile.

_But then, one day, we were alone at school. I mean, not alone_ alone _, but all of our friends went home early. It was one day before our PSATs and, I should mention, cold as shit. At 5pm I received a message from him, asking me to go to the 4th floor. And there he was, shaking, white as snow, but with a smirk on his face. I knew what was coming. We've talked about it a few days before. It was the perfect day, with perfect factors. So we... did it. No details required._

"Brought the camera, so we can take some cute pics."

"Arabella, you're perfect."

Yeah, since that day, when I told him "Arabella" was my favorite song from A.M., he started calling me that. It was a low-key cute nickname, so I let him.

He took my hand, like we used to do. We crossed the street and walked, holding hands, because he always wanted to "protect me" when doing so. Stupid. Also, our tattoos looked cute together. We both made a smile face, with two Xs in replace of the eyes in our right and left hands. Another inside joke.

"How's Lari?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"We broke up five days ago."

Lari was Harry's girlfriend.

_After that day, we kept meeting up occasionally. It was... good, for both. Until one day, he showed up hugging a girl from junior year. That's okay, you know, but... He basically ignored me that whole day. I felt lost. The next day, they kissed. And in the next, and next. One month later, he told me they were dating. Uhm, durh? Of course they're dating, but why leave me? No more hook ups, I know and it's okay, but what about our friendship? The texts stopped showing up. The good mornings turned into shallow 'hello's. He was sitting next to some guys now. I was dumb. He played me._

"Okay, hum, now kinda lay against that tree, with one foot forward and your left arm fixing your hair."

He posed, just like I said. The worst part is that he is, in fact, the most handsome man I've seen. Well, second. But DiCaprio cannot even be considered a human being. He's gorgeous.

We made a little photoshoot. I love photography and it seems like my camera loves him, so this things used to always happen. Peter was always apologizing for not taking good pictures of me. One day he came up to me, saying he studied all night about illumination, angles, ISO and wanted to take some pics of me. Well, the result was a series of weird expressions and some good laughs. So, yeah, I'm the photographer and he's the model. It works out. Usually.

"I'm sorry." Peter whispered.

"Huh?" Of course I heard what he said, but just wanted to be sure.

"I'm sorry for... leaving you, that day."

"Which one?"

"Oh come one, Bella. _That_ day, in the park."

_I called him up that Saturday. There was no way I'd just live my life and forget everything and... not know what happened. We would meet at the central park, just to talk. So I waited for him, in that stupid cold bench. One hour went by and my phone's battery was about to die. I stud up and was ready to head home, when a pack of bouncy, curly hair popped in my view._

_"Sorry, I'm late."_

_"Yeah, I noticed. Hey, we catch up another day, okay?_ _It's late."_

_"No, Bella. I wanna talk to you. Everything is so messed up. I'm sorry for leaving and all of the Lari's thing."_

_"You apologize too much."_

_My eyes couldn't support anymore._

_"What happened?"_

_"Like you've never seen me cry before."_

_He came closer and took my hand. I shoved it away, harshly, and cleaned my face._

_"Bell, I-"_

_"You know what, Peter? You were my first everything. Best friend. Kiss. Boyfriend. Sex. Love. You were everything I ever wanted. Shit, we're too young to feel this kinds of stuff, but I fucking did. I fucking loved you. Even worse, guess I still fucking love you, even after everything you've done. Leaving. Getting a girlfriend. The kind that you show to your parents and take home. The kind you assume and love. I'm sorry for not being enough. I'm sorry for not having the guts to say how I really felt, and for not being pretty and cute and girlfriend-material. The day we first kissed is the third most terrible day in my damn life."_

_We stayed quiet for a while. His eyes were red and watering. Wished he could just go away and whip his memory away. Wish everything would go back to normal. I needed to lose him to love me. I did lost him, but do I love me?_

_His hands grabbed my waist, slowly pulling me closer. We kissed, calmly. His plummy lips tickled mine, filled with sweetness. Maybe a pinch of nostalgia. His hand went up to my face, taking a piece of hair off his way. We stayed there for a while, out of breath. I looked up and there he was, with that numb smile stamping his face. But whiting a second, it disappeared._

_"I'm... I'm here to say goodbye."_

_"What?"_

_"I'm moving away, to college. With Lari."_

_And that is how, two weeks later, he left me, again._

As I said that day, we were too young back then. The adulthood really messes our lives up and... Obligates us to create alternative solutions for such emotional and unreasonable problems.

That was a massive, huge, absurd sarcasm.

We just keep getting fucked up.

"You told me that the day we kissed was the third worse of your life."

"Yeah, I did."

"What about the other two?"

"The second was the day I texted you about Arctic Monkeys. After that, you just never shut up about it."

He laughed.

"And the first?"

A deep breath.

"The day I let you go.".


End file.
